Questioning and going with the flow

 First you should know I have commentate issues. Before when id hear people say                    they had commentate issues I wouldn't think people were serious and that they were          saying it to draw attention  to themselves or in movies to draw out the drama more. Cause that’s what sells right. But ever since my first love. I find it hard to be committed to someone completely, not saying I’m a slut and cant be trusted to be with one person, I just feel as when I'm in relationships I have to think for two people which I know sounds stupid ,but its true.

Which then inevitably ends up with me feeling guilty in taking time away from good guys looking for girls that would be so much better for them than me ,because they could fully have real feeling for them that I don’t think I could have. Its not that I don’t like them I just feel like the relationships I've been in, have been unfair.

That is until now. Keeping in mind my last relationship I was in love in was 3 years prior. I don’t now why this is any different though .it might be that I finally let go of my past love but I still know that I did love him like before so I really don’t know the real reason. All I do know is that he makes me feels confront able emotionally and mentally ,which I've never felt before . I also seem to be hyper aware of everything he does when hes around and I get butterflies as cheesy as it sounds .at first we were just suppose to be a fling as in making out and stuff like that. But then I moved 2,374 miles away and we keep in touched ,but we both miss each other terribly , but I'm afraid that might be the only reason I want him,because I cant have him that is how the old saying goes anyways.

Hopefully its not. I think I might be trying to find explanations instead of just going with the flow.  I love him,that’s for sure its just the why but then again love is a feeling some feeling can go unexplained. 

at least for now. 

so what I'm trying to say is stop questioning things and just go for it .what ever it may be ,you know unless  its life threatening or what not. its just if you waste your life questioning by the time you come up with an answer it may be to late.but obviously some decisions need thinking through   especially if it will effect  your life a lot . i hope that made since and i didn't contradict myself to much.

lol...........xoxo ..um me ... whoever that may be :)